When I know there is going to be pizza, especially if its free, I'm in. I can't justify bringing a lunch or eating out if the office is buying. But I have to immediately resign myself to the fact that I'll likely regret every minute of it and be reassured of my large group pizza ordering hatred.
In the first scenario, typically some very well-meaning person takes charge of the pizza order and just gets a standard set of cheese, pepperoni, pepperoni and sausage, then supreme or vegetarian. Its not that I won't eat these, because I do if those are my choices. It's just that these are always the choices.
My first choice is pepperoni, but everyone's first choice is pepperoni. The one person who actually prefers cheese is perfectly happy, but the rest of us are fighting over what amounts to our last or next to last choice of pizza toppings once the first lucky few get the pepperoni. Oh well. I eat the pizza. Probably too much of it. Gag. Gag. Gag.
The second scenario is far worse on so many levels. I know you can't hear my voice as you read this, but you must imagine the whiny impersonation with the pissed-off overtone I'm giving it. Another well-meaning person will bother to solicit people's pizza topping choice. Inevitably, most people will say something like, "well I don't like that many toppings. I'll just eat cheese or vegetarian, pepperoni, whatever." A few of us will excitedly say, "yeah, get a garlic chicken or Hawaiian or a BBQ chicken or a tomato basil or a......." You get the idea.
Well-meaning person goes to order and thinks, "well, I'll get ONE specialty pizza because a couple people wanted something different and then I'll get the basics." (see choices from scenario one)
Now you know what happens, I don't have to type it, but I will. Cheese or pepperoni guy is first in line, sees the garlic chicken pizza and goes, "hey what's that? Looks good. I'll try a piece." This is repeated over and over until the only people who actually requested specialty pizza get to the front of the line and its ALL gone. What's left? The crappy basics.
Once I demanded to be in charge of ordering pizza for my office. I went desk to desk with a list of all the available pizza choices from this place downtown and had people mark first and second choices. I actually made myself a note as to who put down what. I included just two specialty pizzas because only a handful of people marked them as choice 1 OR 2. I was surprised and a little dismayed, because I really thought more people liked that fancy crap, but I complied with group rule. When the pizza arrived I stood in line about eight people back. When I got my turn I saw that more than half of both specialty pizzas were gone. I'm thinking wait a minute, looking at who had taken their share, no F-ing way.
I can't say I'm proud of my behavior, but what happened next I could not help. I marched over to everyone enjoying their pizza and exclaimed, "you passed up ordering that kind of pizza in favor of the "basic" crap. There are people in line who had the foresight to request that specialty flavor and you are screwing them!!!!!! Eat the flipping cheese and vegetarian crap YOU ordered. Some may say I overreacted, but I know at least a few people were on my side.
So I had my outburst. Now I'll eat whatever comes, but I won't like it. Cheesy, I know.
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