Truly a day in the life...
"Juuuuude! Get out! I do not need an audience while I'm using the bathroom."
"And now ladies and gentleman, my mother is about to attempt an amazing feat!"
"Seriously! You can brush your teeth in any other bathroom. I don't want an audience."
"Mother, it occurs to me that you are confused about my role here. I'm not part of the audience, I'm the announcer."
"Get out!"
"Now mom, you are a grown woman. Is it correct that you know how to lock a door, yet chose not to? Do you understand that by locking the door you could delay us? We would definitely pick the lock, but by the time we got in you might actually be done."
"Point taken. Get out."
"Is it? I feel like we play this game a lot. I don't want to be here any more than you want me here, yet here I am and we're both suffering."
Enter second child.
"Dane, mom says she doesn't want an audience while she's using the bathroom. I'm actually the announcer. What do you want to be?"
Shrugging, "I guess I'll be the animal trainer."
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